Confidence

feel, no justification needed

confidence

1 minute read


We can hold ourselves back from expressing how we feel because we think others have it worse, or because we think we should wait to feel better until we’re farther along with whatever it is we’re doing.

But feelings don’t need to be justified. You don’t need to look for or create a “good” or “worthy” reason to feel how you feel.

Your feeling is your experience. That’s reason enough to feel it – no explanation needed.

You get to feel it for what it is, now. You don’t have to justify or explain it to yourself or anyone else.

This 5 minute video shares more.


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Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.

stop self judgement with the thought buffet

confidence

1 minute read


Sometimes we judge ourselves for the thoughts we think. This 7-minute video offers a new way to approach your thoughts that can help you stop that judgment cycle.


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Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.

finding your way forward

confidenceintuitionpurpose

2 minute read


It’s time to put away the process. The manuals. The “how to do” things.

Those all have a time and place.

But they also distract. They also get in the way. They also can block us from accessing what we know that we don’t know we know.

There are a million ways to make money. To progress in our career. To do something. To create.

There are countless combinations of hows. Of steps. Of paths forward.

So we can stop looking for the right way.

And instead create our way.

We know the way.

When we stop looking outside and ask inside and respond to what we hear, we make the way.

Not the way for everyone. But the way for us.

That’s the only way that matters.

Your way.

Yes, it can be informed by what we read. By what we hear. By what we’re taught.

But don’t let it get lost in all of that.

Don’t let the loudness of others stop you from hearing your knowing inside.

Use what you learn, the lessons, the teachings, to help you hear you.

Not to replace your way. But to clarify it. Always knowing that you know best for you.

You are the one who knows your way.

Even when you don’t know it yet.

You make your own “how to” manual as you go.

You’re the way forward. You.


Post author headshot

Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.

this is for all us nice ones out there

confidence

3 minute read


You know how in movies one of the characters will say something like, “Yeah, he/she’s nice…”

And it’s said as if it’s an insult. Like being nice is a bad thing.

God forbid you’re the nice one.

It’s synonymous with…

Bland. Boring. Not good looking. Not the smartest. Not sexy. Not assertive. Not a leader. Not strong willed. Not independent. Not fierce. Meek. Quiet. Wallflower. Not a main character, more of a supporting role. Not that desirable. Pushover.

And in today’s world of the lean in culture where you’re supposed to stand up, be strong, tall, assertive, speak your mind – nice feels like it goes in direct contradiction.

So we often villainize it. You don’t want to be nice. You want to be strong. Especially if you want to be a leader.

As “they” say, “It’s easier to get people to like you than to respect you.”

Almost like they are in opposition. You can be nice, OR respected. But you can’t have both.

But I’m here to put my nice foot down and say.

That’s messed up.

You can be BOTH. You can be ALL.

Nice AND respected. Nice AND smart. Nice AND sexy. Nice AND assertive. Nice AND independent…(this list goes on).

Being nice does not pull you out of the leadership loop.

Being nice does not make you less than.

Being nice does not make you a doormat.

I’m speaking from the soul here. Because I used to buy into all that mumbo jumbo (even when I wasn’t aware that I was!). Secretly villainizing being “nice” and feeling hurt and frustrated when I’d been “caught” for being nice again.

But I see now that I like being NICE.

I don’t have to be ashamed of it.

There is nothing wrong with being nice.

In fact I’m PROUD of it.

NICE is my way. It’s not weak. In fact it’s so powerful.

Because I’m NICE, my coaching clients trust me and open up to me and share their vulnerable selves in a way they may not have otherwise.

Because I’m NICE, I create environments where people work together instead of trying to one up each other.

Because I’m NICE, I help others be motivated and keep going instead of scolding or shaming themselves into stagnation.

NICE is the ultimate superpower for me. I use it at work and at home. And I love it.

NICE is not the villain. It’s one of my best allies.

So no more seeing nice as wrong. Nice can be the most beautiful attribute – strength – SUPERPOWER of all.

So here’s to all the NICE ones out there.

Your niceness is part of what makes you incredible. It doesn’t get in the way of it. It strengthens it.

We’re NICE. And we’re PROUD of it.


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Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.

the battle of vulnerability

confidence

3 minute read


When you put your creation out there, whether it’s a product or something else, it can feel so vulnerable. Because you don’t know how it will be received.

How YOU’LL be received.

For me, it feels like I’m being put on exhibit and anyone could lash out to mock me. To prepare for it mentally, I’ll often tell myself things like, “Any reaction they have is not about you – it’s about them.”

Or, “When you upset some people then you’ve probably really resonated with your people, so focus on the ones you’re talking to and not the ones who don’t like what you’re sharing.”

Or, “Who you are is not what you do. You are not your work/product/creation.”

And all those sayings sound nice. Seem helpful. And I really do believe they are true.

But they don’t always feel nice or helpful or true in the moment.

Because I’ve put my time, my true essence into what I’ve created. So while I know it’s not actually me, it still FEELS like me.

A part of me I’m displaying for the world to react to.

Like… your soul is naked and on display.

So how do I not just go into utter defensiveness when people don’t like what I have to say?

You’ve got to get thick skin,” I hear myself respond.

But I don’t like that answer.

Because I don’t want a battle. I don’t want to feel like I have to arm myself against the world. I don’t want to feel like things are a fight.

I’m looking for ease. For peace. And for not having to feel like I have to hold my breath with my guard up every time I put something out there for the world to react to.

So I’ve found a new way to approach putting myself out there.

I want to feel proud, loved, accepted, beautiful, for it. So I am choosing to feel that way ahead of time, no matter what. Because that’s the only reaction I can control. Me. How I see me.

And I am proud. I do love what I create. I am accepting and practicing and growing in this every day. And I do believe what I create is beautiful.

If I own this, embody this, and surround what I create in this energy, then it lets others have their reactions to what I put out there. Without it having to change my reaction.

Because it’s not actually my soul naked on display when others react to my work.

It’s their soul on display. Through how they interpret my work. How they react shows how they feel about themselves, me, and the world.

They become the naked ones.

So any reaction, positive, negative, none at all, is exactly what it’s meant to be and creating exactly the response it’s meant to create. No battle needed.

Because there’s a mutual vulnerability – nakedness – that happens in every exchange. Two souls seeing each other as they interact over a shared experience.

This isn’t a battle. It’s beauty.


Post author headshot

Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.