the battle of vulnerability

confidence

3 minute read


When you put your creation out there, whether it’s a product or something else, it can feel so vulnerable. Because you don’t know how it will be received.

How YOU’LL be received.

For me, it feels like I’m being put on exhibit and anyone could lash out to mock me. To prepare for it mentally, I’ll often tell myself things like, “Any reaction they have is not about you – it’s about them.”

Or, “When you upset some people then you’ve probably really resonated with your people, so focus on the ones you’re talking to and not the ones who don’t like what you’re sharing.”

Or, “Who you are is not what you do. You are not your work/product/creation.”

And all those sayings sound nice. Seem helpful. And I really do believe they are true.

But they don’t always feel nice or helpful or true in the moment.

Because I’ve put my time, my true essence into what I’ve created. So while I know it’s not actually me, it still FEELS like me.

A part of me I’m displaying for the world to react to.

Like… your soul is naked and on display.

So how do I not just go into utter defensiveness when people don’t like what I have to say?

You’ve got to get thick skin,” I hear myself respond.

But I don’t like that answer.

Because I don’t want a battle. I don’t want to feel like I have to arm myself against the world. I don’t want to feel like things are a fight.

I’m looking for ease. For peace. And for not having to feel like I have to hold my breath with my guard up every time I put something out there for the world to react to.

So I’ve found a new way to approach putting myself out there.

I want to feel proud, loved, accepted, beautiful, for it. So I am choosing to feel that way ahead of time, no matter what. Because that’s the only reaction I can control. Me. How I see me.

And I am proud. I do love what I create. I am accepting and practicing and growing in this every day. And I do believe what I create is beautiful.

If I own this, embody this, and surround what I create in this energy, then it lets others have their reactions to what I put out there. Without it having to change my reaction.

Because it’s not actually my soul naked on display when others react to my work.

It’s their soul on display. Through how they interpret my work. How they react shows how they feel about themselves, me, and the world.

They become the naked ones.

So any reaction, positive, negative, none at all, is exactly what it’s meant to be and creating exactly the response it’s meant to create. No battle needed.

Because there’s a mutual vulnerability – nakedness – that happens in every exchange. Two souls seeing each other as they interact over a shared experience.

This isn’t a battle. It’s beauty.


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Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.