this is for all us nice ones out there

confidence

3 minute read


You know how in movies one of the characters will say something like, “Yeah, he/she’s nice…”

And it’s said as if it’s an insult. Like being nice is a bad thing.

God forbid you’re the nice one.

It’s synonymous with…

Bland. Boring. Not good looking. Not the smartest. Not sexy. Not assertive. Not a leader. Not strong willed. Not independent. Not fierce. Meek. Quiet. Wallflower. Not a main character, more of a supporting role. Not that desirable. Pushover.

And in today’s world of the lean in culture where you’re supposed to stand up, be strong, tall, assertive, speak your mind – nice feels like it goes in direct contradiction.

So we often villainize it. You don’t want to be nice. You want to be strong. Especially if you want to be a leader.

As “they” say, “It’s easier to get people to like you than to respect you.”

Almost like they are in opposition. You can be nice, OR respected. But you can’t have both.

But I’m here to put my nice foot down and say.

That’s messed up.

You can be BOTH. You can be ALL.

Nice AND respected. Nice AND smart. Nice AND sexy. Nice AND assertive. Nice AND independent…(this list goes on).

Being nice does not pull you out of the leadership loop.

Being nice does not make you less than.

Being nice does not make you a doormat.

I’m speaking from the soul here. Because I used to buy into all that mumbo jumbo (even when I wasn’t aware that I was!). Secretly villainizing being “nice” and feeling hurt and frustrated when I’d been “caught” for being nice again.

But I see now that I like being NICE.

I don’t have to be ashamed of it.

There is nothing wrong with being nice.

In fact I’m PROUD of it.

NICE is my way. It’s not weak. In fact it’s so powerful.

Because I’m NICE, my coaching clients trust me and open up to me and share their vulnerable selves in a way they may not have otherwise.

Because I’m NICE, I create environments where people work together instead of trying to one up each other.

Because I’m NICE, I help others be motivated and keep going instead of scolding or shaming themselves into stagnation.

NICE is the ultimate superpower for me. I use it at work and at home. And I love it.

NICE is not the villain. It’s one of my best allies.

So no more seeing nice as wrong. Nice can be the most beautiful attribute – strength – SUPERPOWER of all.

So here’s to all the NICE ones out there.

Your niceness is part of what makes you incredible. It doesn’t get in the way of it. It strengthens it.

We’re NICE. And we’re PROUD of it.


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Written by: Lisa Philyaw

Lisa is a Confidence Coach and co-founder of beliefseed. She has coached over 1,000 clients, has a Master’s in Psychology, and is a Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to help people show up fully as themselves so they can take charge of their life, their way.